I love many things about Lady Gaga: her originality, her flair, and of course her catchy dance hits. But sometimes her messages about sex and relationships confuse me!
On one hand, she’s empowering: she raises awareness for important issues like youth homelessness, HIV/AIDS, and LGBTQ rights, and she encourages her fans to be proud of their individuality. But on the other hand, some of the sexual imagery in her music videos makes me a bit uncomfortable.
Take, for example, her music video for “Alejandro,” which was released a couple weeks ago. In a few different dance scenes, it looks to me like Lady Gaga is being sexually assaulted by her dance partners. Though the sequences might simply be a nod to S/M sex (which is ideally safe and consensual), I’m not sure that everyone will interpret the dance scenes that way. I, for one, felt a little queasy while watching the scenes. Sexual assault in the real world is, unfortunately, very common: according to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, 1 in 6 women (and 1 in 33 men) will be sexually assaulted sometime in their life. It’s often hard to tell the difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one, and it’s even more confusing when celebrities make violent sex look glamorous.
On the other hand, Lady Gaga also has some really powerful, positive things to say about sex and relationships. For instance, check out her live performance at the Human Rights Campaign’s National Dinner in 2009. She sang a rendition of John Lennon’s “Imagine” to raise awareness for LGBTQ rights and marriage equality. I think this video sums up her most inspiring messages about relationships. She speaks out about the importance of respect, love, and equality—necessary ingredients for any healthy relationship, romantic or otherwise.
When watching music videos, TV dramas, or even the latest blockbuster movie, it’s tricky to sort through the different depictions of sex and relationships: What’s healthy? What’s hurtful? What’s normal? A good place to start is simply being aware that not all media representations of sex reflect reality. So educate yourself and be a savvy media consumer. Pay close attention to the imagery, lyrics and words of your favorite singers, rappers, and celebrities, and decide for yourself how you feel about them. As for me, I’m still going to sing along when my favorite pop songs come on the radio, but I will take a moment to think about the words that are coming out of my mouth.
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